
Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/945854.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      F/M, M/M
  Fandom:
      Hard_Core_Logo_(1996)
  Relationship:
      Joe_Dick/Billy_Tallent, Billy_Tallent/Original_Female_Character
  Character:
      Billy_Tallent
  Additional Tags:
      Song_Lyrics, POV_First_Person
  Stats:
      Published: 2013-08-28 Words: 901
****** Cold Feelings ******
by nancy, Zen
Summary
     A little backstage philosophy, for punk rock sluts everywhere. -:)
Notes
     This is really just a snippet, vignette, whatever. It's an after the
     movie timeline, just so you know where we are here. Just Billy
     getting a blowjob, and taking a trip down memory lane.
     Much thanks and love to Amy and Melissa and Kat, for beta-ness and
     their constant love and support.
     Title and lyrics borrowed without permission from Mike Ness and
     Social Distortion.
     This story was first published years ago at http://hos.slashcity.com/
     and is archived here for preservation and accessibility.
See the end of the work for more notes
                                      ~-~
Groupies, man. Fresh faced, slutty, eager groupies... why don't I ever learn?
Being on tour with a band as big as Jenifur, I'm seeing a higher quality of
sluts, but that just makes them harder to resist. I've never really been into
the "fuck as many as you can" rock star thing. Even back in the old days I'd
usually only go for the groupies if that was what Joe had decided we were doing
that night. Except Mary, I went for Mary all on my own, but look at how that
ended up.
So, yeah, I've had a few too many tonight, and I know, I know, I know, that the
sixteen year old girl with the mohawk isn't what I want, but all my drunken
eyes are seeing right now is her thick black hair standing up straight, and her
mean, cute face, taunting me, daring me. A couple more beers, a couple more
shots, and I know that if she's still around, she'll be sucking my dick.
I don't even have to move, she comes right to me, and her timing is fucking
unreal, because I'm just fucked up enough to think I want this. A flash of
wicked but cute smile, a tilt of her head, and there's no reason for either of
us to say a fucking word. She's got this down, knows what she's doing. I follow
her into the men's john and before I know it we're in a stall, and my pants are
around my knees. My body must want this something bad, because I'm hard and
ready the second her fingers, with the obligatory black nail polish, are
pulling down my zipper. As usual, my brain doesn't know what the fuck I'm
doing.
There's something deeply profound about getting a blow job in the men's room
from a chick whose name you're never going to bother to find out; it's pure and
dirty and nasty and so completely rock and roll.  She's good, knows what the
fuck she's doing, but this condom sucks. Makes this whole scenario seem too
clean and too polite. A blow job from a groupie should be raunchy, and this
layer of latex between my dick and her mouth just seems wrong, but I'm not
drunk enough or stupid enough to let her suck me off without one.
Leaning my head back against the stall, I close my eyes and let my fingers push
through the crunchy hairspray so I can get a good grip on her mohawk. Too much
liquor's in my brain, flashing me back to easier times. Times when I never
imagined I could ever feel this old, times when my dick had never known the
confines of a condom, times when it was never "me" and always "we". The old
days, before we got big, when we were still foul-mouthed kids who thought we
owned the world. Nights after a show when Joe would sling his arm around my
neck and growl in my ear, "Fuck load out. Pipe and John can do it." Then we'd
go find the first willing and half-way decent looking chick, and next thing I
knew we'd have her sandwiched between us, both of us sunk deep inside her. We
always came at the same fucking time, that's how in synch we were.
Or, when we weren't on the road, we'd be sharing some shitty apartment, and
every now and then I'd wake up in the middle of the night with Joe's mouth on
me. He'd never really get going until he knew I was awake, and he always knew,
even when I tried to fake at being asleep. He'd never admit to it in the light
of day, and if I ever said anything to him, he'd tell me I was having wet
dreams about him and call me a fag. One time I pushed it, kept telling him I
knew the difference between a dream and what's fucking real. He beat the shit
out of me, went totally fucking ballistic. After that I gave up trying to get
him to admit to it. It wasn't worth the hassle, and I sure as hell didn't want
him to stop.
With my hands wrapped up in this chick's hair, that's what I'm thinking about,
that's where my mind wants me to be. Back to where I'm half awake lying on an
old, beat up mattress, but I'm safe and warm and exactly where I'm supposed to
be. Joe's lips are hot and slick, working up and down on my dick and I can feel
every fucking taste bud on his tongue. He sucks and licks, humming while he
works my dick down his throat.
This is when I finally come. When I'm back in that crystal clear moment when
everything made sense, everything fit. Then it's over, and I come back to
reality and the groupie at my feet. I let go of her hair and pull the condom
off, tossing it in the toilet, hating the feel of the latex on my over-
sensitized dick. I give the chick some credit when she gets up, smiles and says
thanks, and then walks out.
I mumble, "Yeah, thanks," back at her as she leaves. I zip up, wondering how my
life ever became such a fucking cliché, and in my head I can hear Joe taunting
me.
"Billy-Fucking-Hollywood."
The End
End Notes
     Uninvited Feelings
     They come without warning and they stay too long
     I don't wanna feel, and if I run they'll be twice as strong
     I wait for a warning, I'm waiting for some kind of sign
     I try to separate, try to separate my body from my mind
     Cold feelings in the night
     You know this feeling just ain't right
     And though I try I just can't hide
     Cold feelings in the night
     Song by Social Distortion
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